[[my birthplace is a tourist town now.->TouristTown]] [[tangled up and buried under tropical escapes.->CollectTheMemories1]] (if: $end >= 2)[[the last remnant is a sunrise->sunrise]](text-colour:white)[ <div> <span class="highlighted_text"> when i was younger i told myself my left pointer finger [[curved->curved]] inward because my fathers finger did the same pointing off center undefined his name was a ghost under my tongue] </div> </span> i hugged a statuette at the end of our driveway and gave away the title father even when i grew taller than him <div> <span class="highlighted_text"> my mother told me parts of me are buried under a tree far away they're still there [[growing taller than me->father]] </span> </div> <div> <span class="highlighted_text">does it make you sad when you find the story ive written stuffed in the corners of my mouth <div> </span> <html> <body> <img src="https://saanviram.github.io/LemonCrop/images/wasitherwishortheirs.png" width="600" height="600"> </body> </html> <div> <span class="highlighted_text"> it's been part of me in the loss as much as a hole [[can be part of anything->mapsonmaps]] </div> </span>{ (set: $event to (random: 1, 5)) } (if: $event is 1)[whose lips are these] (elseif: $event is 2)[when i smile who do you see] (elseif: $event is 3)[when i speak whose tongue is it] (elseif: $event is 4)[who do you want me to be] (elseif: $event is 5)[a stranger as much as anyone] { (set: $memories to false) } { (set: $end to 0) } <div style="text-align:center;"> <span class="highlighted_text"> what about my redacted mother i had unusual ways of visualizing her someone said i looked like her so i look really hard into screens i assume she is wrapped around me tight like plastic wrap there but trans-parent </div> </span> <div style="text-align: center;"> <video width="640" height="380" controls autoplay loop> <source src=" https://saanviram.github.io/LemonCrop/images/Sequence 01.mp4"type="video/mp4"> </video> </div> <div style="text-align: center;"> <blink> [[squeezing me into being->anothermother]] </blink> </div> ¿when i speak whose tongue is it flat without accent does it sound different [[in my mothers mouth->backsofphotographs]] ?<div> <span class="highlighted_text"> on the backs of the photos you gave me you've written notes about all the places surrounding the house the home the origin scattered about as if you yourself did not want to show me [[x marks the spot->release]] </div> </span> (set: $end to it + 1)<html> <img src="https://saanviram.github.io/LemonCrop/images/Longroad.png" width="1979" height="3380"> </html> <div> <span class="highlighted_text"> my mother is an x on a line instead of a name at [[the end->longshadow]] of a child release form <div> </span> my father is a long shadow on a closing door that i have to imagine all by myself <html> <img src="https://saanviram.github.io/LemonCrop/images/00000651.png" width="1979" height="3380"> </html> (set: $end to it + 1) [[reconcile, gather->release]]emptied out [[boxes under the stairs->Start]]<html> when i was older you gave me a small piece of that place a red and white sunrise housed in plastic i keep this piece of plastic in the same box with love notes from forgotten loves pieces of luck and other sacred things <img src="https://saanviram.github.io/LemonCrop/images/sunrise2.png" width="1979" height="3380"> [[you dont even remember giving it to me now->Start]] </html>